I have decided for the time being, I won’t be attending church. I have had many bad and some even traumatic experiences at every church that I have attended. I under stand that “people will be people,” that does not mean I have to submit myself to such treatment. In many cases, if these events had taken place outside the church, no one would hesitate to encourage me to remove myself from the situation. Why should church get a special pass? I can forgive and walk away. By leaving for a time does not mean that I’m unforgiving or even hostile, though I have had my share of those moments. It is possible to forgive someone (or many someones) and still protect your own dignity. I have been belittled, overlooked, gossiped about, had harmful rumors spread about me, etc. and I will not tolerate this any more. I can forgive those who have hurt and damaged me without sticking around for them to continue to do so.
the anti-evangelical 
I hate that this has happened to you over and over again. As much as church touts that it is a safe space, I never found it to be. I never found much “fellowship” with anyone there. It all seemed like a hotbed of pretension, gossip, and human judgement mistaken as divinely inspired. Taking yourself out of that situation is a good solution, and church is not special enough to be exempt from the list of toxic places and people. Doing what is right for you is not selfish or wrong; it is self preservation and healthy.
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