My husband has found a new church that he loves, and while he naturally wants me to go with him, he has been exceedingly respectful of my deconstruction journey and knows that I’m not really ready to start going back. But the pressure is on, even if it’s just self-imposed pressure. I’ve gone with him to service once before, and it’s a great little community. Yet, the idea of regular attendance sends off warning bells and makes anxiety bubble up in my stomach. It would be lovely to have a church where I can deconstruct my faith and still be surrounded by people who love me and accept that I question pretty much everything. However, I’ve already experienced a church that was “accepting” of your struggles – up until you weren’t magically cured of your doubts and sins within a reasonable amount of time (and for them, reasonable was less than two months). So I have a healthy dose of skepticism when a church family says they accept you right where you are. There are usually terms and conditions to that statement.
But the work day beckons, and I must heed the call of gainful employment. Hopefully I’ll get to write more on this soon.
One Reply to “facing church”
I attended a new church last Sunday for the first time in I don’t know – two years? Am trying hard to hold myself back, not hope too much, expect too much but also to be open to possibilities. It’s a hard balancing act!