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No words

I just saw where my old church now has a merch shop. Because of reasons? I’m not sure why the have to sell logo shirts and mission statement shirts. I think I got out of there right in time.

Bah humbug

I’m just going to say it outright. I hate Christmas. I hate the whole month of December to be honest. People who I haven’t seen all year suddenly believe that I owe them my time just because of a story about a manger. Every year I try to set boundaries and every year people trample…

Currently reading

I’m about 40 pages into my latest theological read and I figured I would give some first impressions. I picked up How (Not) to Read the Bible because I’ve come to question what I really believe about the Bible. So I’m trying to dive in and study different view points. I’m not very far in,…

facing church

My husband has found a new church that he loves, and while he naturally wants me to go with him, he has been exceedingly respectful of my deconstruction journey and knows that I’m not really ready to start going back. But the pressure is on, even if it’s just self-imposed pressure. I’ve gone with him…

Reconstruction

I don’t know what I want to believe any more. Part of me wants to continue to be a Christian. I can see beauty in the theology and in Scriptures. However, the moment I look around me and see all the brokenness, I just don’t know if I can believe in a God. I know…

Dechurching Part II

I have decided for the time being, I won’t be attending church. I have had many bad and some even traumatic experiences at every church that I have attended. I under stand that “people will be people,” that does not mean I have to submit myself to such treatment. In many cases, if these events…

Dechurching

There is no biblical reason to stop going to church; in fact, the Bible warns against it. But part of deconstructing is learning it is okay to do something without biblical justification. Church is not a healthy or safe place. Full stop. A thousand arguments flood my brain at these statements, all berating me as…

Thoughts

The past few weeks I have dove into considering what it means to deconstruct my faith. I’ve written snippets of blog posts, expanded out my reading, and have been listening to audiobooks. I felt like I was starting to see the path ahead when my depression decided to flair up again. I’ve spent the past…

God as Mother

Prayers to Mother Jesus. The divine feminine encompassed within the Trinity. This concept seems totally foreign but has come up several times in my reading lately. Trying the words “Mother God” in prayer this morning felt awkward and uncomfortable, but just how much of that discomfort is from traditional evangelicalism? Yet curiosity has me pondering…

Respect

“Kavod [respect] is far more than mere civility, politeness, or the thin veneer of tolerance that may mask a barely concealed disdain; rather, the word kavod is etymologically related to the word for ‘heaviness,’ ‘weight,’ and ‘significance.’ Truly honoring a human being means you regard them as inherently significant, weighty, worthwhile and having something of…

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